Learning to live

As I come to grips that this place I am in is going to be home for some time still, I realize I need to learn how to live. As it stands now my days are a toxic recipe of pain, fear, anxiety, hopelessness, and uncertainty. It is clear to me that I am a foreign place and the rules of engagement are not what I am used to. No more “business as usual”, it’s survival mode. I surely don’t want to claim this place as my long term home, but while I am passing through I’ve got to learn how to live here.
As time passes it seems much slower here. Each second seems like hours. Also, I find night time much more inviting than day since I can sleep and get a short escape. Thoughts here are not my own, they are directed by bouts of pain. Pain seems to have a great influence here much like a dictator. Hope, peace, joy, and contentment all bow to pain. Pain has an evil grin which is barely seen through the darkness surrounding its elusive presence.


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